Nostril Shorts

by Nostril Shorts

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1.
02:00
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4.
5.
02:30
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7.
8.
03:19
9.

credits

released March 29, 2011

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Nostril Shorts Shannon, Ireland

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Track Name: Quarter to Sex
there's 2 fairly ugly chicks dancing on the floor.
there's no way in hell either of them bitches will score.
cause they've 4 chins between them and their tits look like udders
hold on a second now, they're kissing each other.

now my feelings have changed
i'm getting aroused
i think i'll shimmy over
so i put my glass down
i do a funny dance
just to lure them in
it's working, the 3 of us begin shifting

i'm grabbing her boobs, at least i think that's her boobs
i open my eyes (ah dude, that's her back)
the other one rubbing me and kissing my neck
what time is it? uhhh
it's a quarter to sex

i run into the jacks so
i can get some johnnies
and just incase i premature
i slap one of them on me
then i head back out to join them and my butt gets a slap
they're hungry for love and a doner kebab

we take a shot of whiskey
and we munch on some nuts
(no way, are all the nuts gone?)
hungry fucks
i think i had one peanut and they ate the rest
my clock of love is saying
it's 10 minutes to sex

we make our way over to the taxi rank
i'm hand and hand in hand with the back of a bus and a tank
they're rubbing my arse, they're a little obsessed
we better get a move on
it's 5 minutes to sex

so we hop into taxi and we head back to mine.
they're ripping off my clothes and licking my spine.
they throw me on the bed with very little respect
what time is it?
Track Name: Boggers
can you's hear me buachaillí
listen up girls
dublin is the greatest city in the world
everybody else lives on a farm
i'll sing the chorus once i take my head out from me arse.

dublin is the centre of the universe
and everywhere else is full of boggers.
dublin is the centre of the universe
and everywhere else is full of boggers.

christ, here's a culchie
this guy's from cork
that means he's made from turf
and little pieces of pork
whats your blaydin' name bud?
(well boy, my name is fred)
has anyone got a blaydin' clue
what that bogger said.
now here's a gorgeous girlie
with beautiful eyes.
i think i'll chat her up cause she
looks like my type
what part of dublin are you from?
(i'm not i'm from tyrone)
ahh, not another blaydin' bogger
would ya's ever feck off home.

dublin is the centre of the universe
and everywhere else is full of boggers.
dublin is the centre of the universe
and everywhere else is full of boggers.

listen up now girls and boys
it's time for me to make some noise.
so sway your arms from left to right
and tell me where you're from ya muppety shite
(pump that blaydin' tune)

county kerry
county louth
county cavan
county down
county limerick
county clare

durty blaydin' boggers

county mayo
county cork
tipperary
waterford
county sligo
county laois

a loada blaydin' boggers

county galway
offaly
county leitrim
kilkenny
county longford
county meath

is this a room full of boggers?

county kildare
roscommon
county wexford
county dublin
donegal

oi! who's the smart arse that said dublin
there's no blaydin' boggers in dublin right?

now ye culchies know
that dublin is the greatest place
na na na na na in your face.
can you hear me cailiní
listen up boys
dublin is the greatest city
make some noise

dublin is the centre of the universe
and everywhere else is full of boggers.
dublin is the centre of the universe
and everywhere else is full of boggers.
dublin is the centre of the universe
and everywhere else is full of boggers.
dublin is the centre of the universe
and everywhere else is full of boggers.